Where to Invade Next

"3.5 stars out of 4"

I sometimes feel "guilty" (I don't know if that's even the right word to use) of supporting Bernie Sanders. Not that anything's wrong with him. But something is very wrong with me: I'm not a US citizen. As a citizen of Iran, I have come to learn that my basic rights get barely fulfilled, let alone wish for a fair election or support the party I want. I feel misplaced. Judged. But in Bernie, I find the crushed hopes of one nation, and that is mine. I supported Mir Hossein Mousavi and the Green Movement (I have to admit, I hardly did anything worthwhile for it, while many gave their citizenship rights and got exiled, if not killed in the chaotic situation we were in). But all the dreams and hopes were gone overnight and all dreams and hopes were put under "mind arrest".

But moving to the States is not just about getting a better education or finding a better job for us. It's about the freedom we get. It's about the hopes we can pursue. It's about the oppressed political hopes, no matter if we can't vote! It's about...how to put this...it's about the American dream, re-shaped to fit the Iranians!

However, personally, when I moved here all my expectations were toppled. Is this the America I've always heard about and dreamed of? This multi-corporation, capitalistic, fake, no-universal-healthcare, no-job-security, no-vacation-time, no-tuition-free-college (to name the least)? Why don't they get it fixed? How can I live here? To be honest, maybe the only thing stopping me from moving to Europe is their strict immigration laws. Unless you're a refugee, chances are you won't be taken in as much as the Americans do. It is also how warm and welcoming the Americans have been (at least towards me). How is it that the people of this country are resisting Obama-Care, which is not even the perfect form of health care they can get? How is it that my third-world country stands better in terms of free college and universal health care?

Something is wrong.

And then there was Bernie. Ahhhh, a very generous whiff of fresh air! I came to know Bernie last year when I took a poll of which presidential hopeful my ideas mostly match with. And there on the top at 93% was Bernie. Who the hell is Bernie?! I wanted to be matched with Hillary. I was almost ashamed of admitting that I have fallen "short" of my ideals. Then over time, I realized how lucky we were that Bernie was running. Aside from all the democratic socialism he promises that fixes everything wrong with the US (in my mind), he saved us from the un-genuine, pragmatic soul, that is Hillary. What a relief.

But Bernie is more than that. It's all my energy left from Iranian presidential elections in 2009. It's all the hopes that a true democracy could exist. There could be a man, whose all intentions are helping people. Could there be someone like Trudeau for the States? Bernie is the new Mir Hossein for me. Back in 2009, I was thinking what a peaceful world it would be (for me and other Iranians), when Obama is the US president and Mir Hossein our president. So, could Bernie be that messenger of peace?
I am not going to be a crazy fanatic with so high of an expectation that when that expectation is not delivered, will start criticizing him on the internet without accounting for all the great things that he will have (hopefully) accomplished.

Anyway, amidst the peak of my excitement and hope, seeing this movie was a wonderful treat. Don't let the trailer fool you. The movie is actually better. It flops a little towards the end. But it basically sums up everything good that Sanders wants to borrow the idea from the other countries.

I enjoyed the piece about Iceland. /*SPOILER ALERT*/ It's message from Iceland was that involving women in policy making, makes for a more stable world and less war. My message here is that while I am all for this message, this does not apply to the war-loving Hillary! So, don't extrapolate the results of this movie!

This may not be as thought-provoking or "provoking" in general as Bowling for Columbine or Sicko were. I think this movie was not as well made as the previous ones and only served as a very light-hearted message to the Americans. But as any other Michael Moore feature, it was definitely worth watching.

P.S. I've always been fascinated with the Italian culture and this movie gave me another reason to move there. I loved how the Italians gasped when they heard that vacation-time in America is almost non-existent! Maybe. One day.

Steve Jobs

"2.75 stars out of 4"

I have one word for you: meh!

I'll be honest with you right off the bat. I had two incentives for seeing this movie: my crush on Michael Fassbender and the fact that it was written by Alan Sorking, who had written The Social Network, one of my all time favorite movies. But mostly the Michael Fassbender thing! I was kinda disappointed with both. But mostly with writing. And I'll get to that later.

After the first disastrous Jobs movie with Ashton Kutcher, I had high hopes for this new movie. I'll tell you one thing I told my boyfriend, about the first movie. Don't ever under any circumstance watch that movie. If somebody is making you, they want to torture. Cut all ties with that person.

I had high hopes for the new movie because you've got a great plot, a charismatic character, throw in a few brilliant actors, a great writer and director and what could possibly go wrong? The answer is I don't know but something hadn't quite clicked.

Did I like the tempo? Yes. Did I like the cinematography? Yes. Did I like the acting? You betcha. Did I like the screenplay? Well, I wasn't crazy about it. It reminded me too much of the Social Network. You may ask "why, you had liked that movie, why not this one?". The thing is, the audience look for something new. In the Social Network, Alan Sorkin had tried to make Mark Zuckerberg like less of an asshole that he was and had successfully made him look way more charismatic than what he was in real life. I'm not saying the Steve Jobs he had made wasn't charismatic, but I would contribute most of that to Michael Fassbender's brilliance. Alan Sorkin hadn't been able to make him look like less of an asshole as he had been with Zuckerberg! The Steve Jobs he created looked like a pushover, less charismatic than the one in real life, and his psycho analysis had failed, big time. He had just briefly touched on the subject, but he should've delved into it if he was going to talk about it at all.
Mid-movie, I was like "huh, this feels like writing up my thesis"! Let me elaborate. Whenever I would go to my advisor or start working on my projects, she would be like "narrow it down". I appreciate the fact that writers have to focus on limited subjects and can't cover everything. But comparing it with the Social Network that was more like taking a journey with Zuckerberg, this movie had concentrated on the 3 main product launches of Mac and NeXT and his relationship with his first daughter. As concentrated as it may seem, it felt scattered. I wish I had seen more of a "journey".

I can't imagine Michael Fassbender ever disappointing me, but this was no "Shame", no "12 Years a Slave", not his best work. Kate Winslet has always been one of my top 2-3 actresses. She has proven time and time again that she is good with accents. But what bugged me the most about her acting in this movie was her inconsistent Polish accent. Otherwise, she had good chemistry with Fassbender. Supporting actors were good but I wish they had spent more time on the role of Steve Wozniak or had introduced him more probably. I had to rely on my own knowledge and figure out who "Woz" was before they showed the garage scene.
One of my other all time favorite movies is the Slumdog Millionaire. As okay as this movie's directing was, Danny Boyle hadn't lived up to his potentials either. I still blame it on the screenplay!

As you can see us liking or disliking a movie depends heavily on our predispositions and expectations. If you ask me to remain neutral and tell me to forget about Social Network and Fassbender and everything, I would still tell you that there was something not very appealing about this movie.

Overall, the more time passes, the less I like the movie. But I think it was worth watching.
If you are stuck in choosing a movie to watch and haven't seen the Martian yet, go see that one!

Dementors

I was reading an article today that J. K. Rowling was clinically depressed when she was in her mid-twenties and that was the basis of the "Dementors".

Depression is not being sad. It's almost as a free fall. You're trying to grasp to anything to hold onto and all the while you know it won't work. It's amazing how your mind starts working. You lose short term memory. You can't bring yourself to get yourself out of the bed. Nothing makes sense. Nothing will make you happy. There are involuntary breaks of crying. Not because you're feeling sad, but because you're feeling hollow. The world looks as if it has nothing to offer you to get you out of the pitfall. And it is true. It's amazing how your mind has you trapped. No matter how many times you go to therapy, how much medication you take, or even how many amazing things happen in your life. There are days that you wake up feeling ok and it makes you happy. You think to yourself "yes, it's finally over". But it's a matter of hours, days before you find yourself in the same pitfall again. So much so that you lose faith. Every time your mood is good, you ask, I wonder how long this will last! The dangerous thing is that you get used to it. It cozies up in your brain...takes up a whole comfy place there and makes it its home. It becomes a routine.

But if you're lucky enough, you one day realize what's caused it in the first place, that you knew all along. The things you had been trying to hold onto so hard...the things you knew as "fact". The only liberation is to let go. To not feel entrapped by obligations, by trying to make meaning out of life. Not to get fixated on what is the definition of your role in life, in society. Try to trick your mind into "being there for the ride", however much it may resist. And finally you see a hand extended to you to get you out. And it's your own.

And you still wonder how long this time it'll last. But when you wake up, one day after the other, feeling hopeful or neutral at best, that's when the light at the end of the tunnel gets brighter and brighter. You still may cry. But this time, thank god it's sadness not hollow!

Mr. Holmes

"3.5 stars out of 4"

There have been many, many, MANY adaptations of this Conan Doyle masterpiece into movie and TV series over the past century. My favorite to this day still remains the TV series in the 80's with Jeremy Brett playing the part. If any of you have seen the said TV series, you would agree that he basically ruined a possibility of finding a better Holmes. That may have been part of the reason why we didn't see an adaptation for the next 15-20 years, when the producers realized that it is not possible to replicate what Brett had created, yet the book was such a great resource not to tap into. So, what they came up with was a modern Holmes, what he would've been if he lived in this day and technology. It owes its great success to Benedict Cumberbatch, in my opinion. Seriously, what would have we done if we didn't have British actors/actresses? If I'm not credible enough for you, I remember reading that Roman Polanski had claimed the same thing when making Oliver Twist. So, there you have it!

This most recent adaptation of Holmes, also, owes a great deal to Ian McKellen. For many of us (me!) he will always be Gandalf. If you get past the sad feeling that you get by seeing how old he's gotten in this movie, you would enjoy a masterful acting class! Every little detail, every sound, every gasp, every eye movement, you could see that they were all not delightful coincidences but displays of more than 60 years of acting experience. The other acting I would mention is Laura Linney, who is always a delight to watch on the screen. Aside from, You can Count on Me, every movie I have seen since of her has had her as a supporting actress, what I believe is what she is made for (not at all meaning that her work is any less important than a leading actress).

This adaptation goes past World War II, in almost a spin-off the original book. Showing Holmes as a "real" person, very different than what John Watson had created! I know it's a little confusing to wrap your head around. In a nutshell, it was fiction in a fiction. Anyway, we see Holmes as a very senile detective, who has lost all his friends (that being only Watson and Mrs. Hudson!), and is struggling in his last days with amnesia. He is trying to remember the last case he had, 30 years prior to when the story was taking place, to put truth to what Watson had created of that case, ending in a heart-breaking revelation, ending the 30-year struggle he had had to forget that case!

I don't have much to say about this movie. I walked in, expecting a detective, suspense/thriller type movie based on my knowledge of Holmes but I was faced with a small, very well-made, English-humor movie with excellent acting. I guess anyone who values the importance of the make of a movie, no matter how trivial the story, would appreciate watching it.

Trainwreck

"3.5 stars out of 4"

I had always dreamt of a sitcom type movie. I always wondered why we had to sit through so many bland lines before we got to a punchline. I wanted a movie that made me laugh so hard that my stomach hurt but that was smart at the same time.

And my wish was finally granted!

I've always admired Judd Appatow's comedy and movies. My favorite is Knocked Up. But yours might be 40-year-old Virgin. The last movie I saw of him was Funny People, which ironically was not all that funny.

But ladies and gents, we have an all time winner!

I was really expecting a mediocre (at most) type of comedy, after checking the reviews online before going to the movie. A "5.9: iMDB? Really? You guys are too harsh. If it wasn't for the very cheesy ending (which I've repeated over and over again that is one of the important parts of the movie, if not the most important. But c'mon. It's a RomCom. It's supposed to have a cheesy ending. It almost reminded me of Friends with Benefits (also a good RomCom but not as good as this one).

Amy Schumer has recently gained a lot of fame for her raw comedy. And I was really impressed to find out at the end of the movie that she was also the writer of the movie. Good stuff. I'm not at all surprised that she was able to land such big names for directing and acting.

In this movie, she played the role of a magazine column-writer, who due to her parents divorce has become a "trainwreck". She sleeps around, does not believe in monogamy, drinks booze, smokes pot, the whole shebang. But when she interviews her new column-star (Bill Hader), she tries to resist the feelings that come to her. When Bill Hader's character was first introduced in the movie I felt like the movie lost its tempo. But I was somewhat wrong. Don't get me wrong, he is one of my all time favorite SNL actors and he did not disappoint as the lead love interest. There were also several cameo and top notch actors with small roles in this movie: Lebron James, Matthew Broderick,... But the most interesting one to me was Tilda Swinton. I had always seen her in serious, drama movies, such as Michael Clayton, that I had the hardest time placing her in my mind. It took me a while to figure out where I had seen her before!! I gotta say, the long hair and tanned skin also threw me off a little. I also liked the cameo of two stars in the mini-movie that was in this movie! I'm not giving it away to not spoil it for you guys. But you're in for a treat.

But overall, this is the perfect weekend movie. I know what you might be thinking. I gave North by Northwest 3.75 stars and this one 3.5?! Shouldn't there be a huge difference? Well, the answer is no. They are in two different grenres and there is no less value in a good RomCom than there is in a drama or a Hitchcock suspense.

If you disregard the cheesy ending, you won't be disappointed and will get your money's worth. More than if you spend on seeing the Minions. There is also relatable topics discussed in this movie, as well. Well, for those of you who are females and are going through a quarter life crisis!

North by Northwest

"3.75 stars out of 4"

I had the amazing opportunity of seeing one of Hitchcock's best pictures on big screen tonight. Alright, a medium screen! (Amherst Cinema)

Needless to say, it was beautifully made. However, I was expecting another classic horror/suspense Hitchcock film but I actually found the dialogues entertaining. This movie was more of a comedy than a thriller. When I saw Ernest Lehman's name in the title roll (writer of famous musicals, such as the Sound of Music and West Side Story), I was rather surprised. But he had come off with flying colors! I always love to see artists whose works are versatile.

Here's a short storyline. The movie was made in the late 50's when the topic of cold war, and spying and conspiracy theories was hot. (Wait a minute...what year are we in again right now?!!) When the FBI or CIA or whatever they may call it (as they say in the movie) comes up with the plan of making someone up, so that they can gather more information on the spy, little do they know that they will be spicing up a typical, wealthy, New Yorker man's life (Cary Grant), who had been divorced twice because his wives found his life dull. His life gets yet another spicy twist, when he meets Hitchcock's choice of blonde for this movie (Eva Marie Saint). The movie is marked with several classic scenes in the cinema history that you may have seen a reference to, like the plane-chase scene, that had made this movie go down as a classic.

A few observations:

1. As always when seeing a Hitchcock movie, I was excited to find out when he himself would be passing in the movie. It's like a game of Where's Waldo (Alfie)? that you'd be wanting to look forward to. And in this case, I found Waldo fast!

2. Except for Eva Marie Saint, why was everyone else salt and pepper?! Was that what they found attractive back then or did everyone look like that? Was America suddenly flooded with blondes and red heads in the 60's?

3. Why was Cary Grant orange?

4. The script must've been very racy for its time. Loved loved LOVED the smart, erotic dialogues.
- "I'm a big girl."
- "In all the right places."
I mean c'mon!

5. I don't think they were predicting that they would be getting half their laughs in 50 years from the elementary visual effects' techniques. It almost made me go awwww.

6. This is a time capsule to show how few immigrants were in the States back then. Want proof? The cab drivers and the housemaids in the hotel were all white Americans! And how dashing was the cab driver? Mmm'hm!

7. And how cheesy was the closing scene, huh!

8. By the way, how was he mistaken for a government agent again??? I seem to have totally missed the plot.

Banana? - aka My Return

"2 stars out of 4"

After giving up on my dreams of becoming a journalist or a film critic, I decided to leave this page for good. But a conversation with my mom last week, sparked a new enthusiasm in me. She said, write for your own joy and heart, and who knows, maybe you will get to where you want. But I'm overall a very flaky person! So, if I write another come back post in a few months, don't be surprised!

So, here we go.

This past weekend, "The Minions", a spin-off of one of the best selling and most beloved animations of all time, "Despicable Me", opened nation-wide. To no surprise, it snagged the second highest opening for animations, only behind "Shrek the Third". The fact that I was disappointed with both these best selling animations, makes me wonder if the film companies take advantage of the popularity of certain characters or cartoons, with an end-product that is obviously based on a not fully-developed plot and story, or if it is the fact that the fans and viewers get their hopes so high that what they demand is unattainable. I'm going with the former theory.

Thanks to "Avatar", now we have the privilege of paying $14 to see XD-3D films, for yet another disappointing experience! What Avatar did was remarkable but I am still waiting to see another "true" 3D movie. Films like "Jurassic World" had a lot of potential to bring an exciting dimension to their stories, but I am guessing the greed of the movie-makers surpasses their capabilities in developing visionary arts.

It was back in 2010, when the world came to know Gru, the most despicable super villain, and his lovely, mischievous minions. Despicable Me had a well-developed story line with the lead character that had come to life by the genius Steve Carrell, as well as, his senile inventor, whose voice was portrayed by Russell Brans, who, c'mon, cannot do anything that is not funny! There were also characters like the 3 orphans, to stimulate sympathetic feelings, and of course, our very own minions. The producers soon discovered that the minions were among the most favorite fictional characters ever to be developed and that they had a promising future in getting their own movie.

Alas...

The minions lacked a charismatic villain. Sandra Bullock's voice-over was not even close to what Gru was to Despicable Me. And I'm not blaming her, so much as I'm blaming the writers. It was as if they made Vector from the first movie the lead character. A recipe for failure.

The second thing is that they basically showed us all the little cute details about the movie in the trailer. There was nothing new to discover in the movie. Sure, the fact about how minions had overcome Scarlet Overkill's reign had been kept a secret. But it wasn't anything original. It seems like since Wallace & Grommit, all the answers for animation characters lies in (***SPOILER ALERT***) accidentally becoming a giant!

The funniest part of this animation was having the location in England and showing us how snooty they are. I almost wished that the Queen Elizabeth's part wouldn't end! But it was very brief, and however much brilliant it was, wasn't enough to rescue the film.

I am giving this movie 2 stars, just by imagening what I would've given it had I not seen the funny parts in the trailer. Otherwise, I am so very disappointed in this movie.

Looking forward to The Secret Lives of Pets coming out next summer. And having fingers crossed for it not to be another disappointment. I doubt that it would be as one of the voice overs in it is done by Louis C.K., who, in my opinion, is the best active comedian in the States right now.