So...why did I vote?!

I have been asked this question over and over for the past week. It was the presidential elections in Iran and based on what happened in the previous elections and the results got rigged, many (including me until 2 weeks before the elections) thought that voting is pointless. When they are the deciders of what going to happen eventually, then why bother?!

One of the arguments that the boycotters had was that with a large turnout at the elections, we are validating this regime. Well, that is not entirely true. First off, the authorities are going to film the crowded lines they find or pull some footage from their archives to show that there was a huge turnout anyway. So, it had been proven in the past that boycotting for this reason has not been helpful. So isn't it better to vote for someone who is a reformist or "has reformist intentions" rather than a hardline conservatives to show that we are against this regime, which is mostly ruled by the Islamic fundamentalists and supporters of the conservatives?

Many say "why do you care? You're not living there, yet you are deciding the fate of the ones inside of Iran?! Let them do it themselves!"

I have even heard some Iranians say "it is no longer our country" or "as long as it is ruled by these scums, I don't care"!

Well, I am not deciding the fate of Iranians inside the country. I am deciding my own fate. I am an Iranian...I love my country and my people...and I would do anything to make it a better place for myself and for my loved ones so I can go back and live where I belong. As my mom always says, we are counted as second-rated citizens in Western countries. So, instead of staying here and trying to prove that I am something that I am not, I would rather put that energy into good use and help build my country over again and turn it into a better place. I would rather vote and help my people pull out of the chasm they have fallen into over the past 8 years than not vote and let yet another despicable figure represent me and my country and cast yet another shadow upon the lives of the people who are falling deeper and deeper into despair everyday. I want someone worthy of me, worthy of my people represent me in the world's eyes so I can stick my head up high and once again say proudly that I am an Iranian, rather than get into arguments to prove that we are not all hostile towards the world!

I know my vote was most probably not counted and was just counted out of curiosity for the officials to report back what the Iranians outside of Iran are thinking and who are they voting for, that would suffice for me! I just want to voice my opinion, voice my opposition towards their policies by voting for a person who they don't approve as much as others than sit and do nothing.

Yes, I do too agree that the elected president was basically the same as the other candidates and that he is no saint. He has done his fair share of wrong doings over the past and his hands are, as we call it, covered with blood! But I do believe that for now, we need someone who the supreme leader somewhat approves and we need to take baby steps to get to democracy.

Changing the whole country overnight is not only impossible but the people don't have the so called "political/social maturity" to appreciate the democracy and guard it once they get it. Unfortunately, most of the population in Iran, mostly consisting of the youth, think of democracy as "being able to have fun without getting caught"! Of course, I don't blame them. It is quite normal at this age to want to go out with friends and have parties but for the past 30-something years, this energy has been suppressed extensively by the government or better yet to say, the regime. So, it is natural for people to want what they have been deprived of and for many young adults, who are not that much in financial distress, being able to have fun is the goal! So you see what I mean? This country is not ready for the big step yet.

Some of the boycotters said, voting doesn't help anything and we want the situation to get so bad that people wouldn't be able to stand it and overthrow the ruler.

Well, first of all, the lives of the people you can talk so easily about, are the same people that you belong to. They are you parents, your uncles, your cousins. Many of whom want to escape this hell of a mess but can't and many who choose to stay because they belong there. It is their right to stay in a place where they know as home and hope for a better day to come. I can't wish for a disaster to happen just so the dictator is overthrown!

Moreover, it is not possible right now. For those who think they can change the country, not by voting, and in a bigger scale, who basically are expecting a miracle, I say more power to ya! But who are you going to replace this regime with? Who is going to be your leader? Without a leader, any revolution would be doomed to fail. More importantly, starting a movement without clear objectives, without a solid and reliable leader, a leader would be chosen for you (almost the same thing that happened in the Iranian revolution 40 years ago).

So why repeat the past? Also, again I can't emphasize this enough, the nation is not ready for that. I don't want them to go through another rough patch yet again. Our people have suffered enough. What I want is a steady government (the same as Khatami's for now will do), a government and a president who are moderates and who can stabilize the country, especially the financial aspect, so people once again can put their heads down on their pillows at night more serenely, without the fear of what might happen tomorrow, if there will be a war break out, if they will go hungry, if they can secure a good future for their children and themselves.

We, well not we per se, but our ancestors have fought hard for the right to vote and I am clasping hard to it. I don't want to let it slip from my hands so easily and I don't want it taken away from me on the grounds that I don't use it...so why have it?!

I have boycotted before and that time the result turned out to be an 8-year torture! The number of boycotters was more than the number of votes cast in the president's favor. So you can see where we went wrong.

Furthermore, I know that every time I am voting, I am taking a chance...I am making myself vulnerable...I am putting my vote out there where it can be dismissed...but I gain two precious things in return.

First of all, they might rig the elections whenever they want but I am not letting them get what they want that easy! They should fight me, and all my brothers and sisters who voted. So I am actually making them vulnerable, not myself!

Secondly, if I don't vote, and the elections do get rigged, I have no right to ask where my vote is! Many of the boycotted the elections in respect of the people who died protesting in the post-elections clashes with the government (or regime actually). I hear ya, and I am with you. Every blood shed 4 years ago is sacred. But I want to have the chance to fight for their right, help get their efforts acknowledged, than standby and see that the fight they started is being neglected and going to waste. You can have your way of showing your respect for them, but this is mine. Their fight and their blood shouldn't go to waste...I don't want them to be forgotten. I am sure you would say we don't want either, but remember what their ideology was...what they were doing when they died...and the only way to make sure they won't be forgotten is to continue their paths.

I wanted to take a step which will make things ready so that my last elected president, Moosavi, and the rest of the activists detained after the last elections be freed and can join their families and loved ones once again.

Last word, the first spark of the inclination to vote in me started when I thought that should I ever become a journalist, I have a responsibility towards my country and I can't ever claim to have been interested in the fate of my country and my people if I didn't take action and did the least I can do right now, which is to VOTE!

Being a grown-up SUCKS!

I am taking this course in school where we are required to implement a nutrition intervention on different groups in the community. Ours is on a class of 4th graders. Today we went there and we were asked to first introduce ourselves. When it was my turn, I told them that I was from Iran and they all had a blank look on their faces saying "Where the hell is Iran?!". None of them knew. I was expecting at least some of them recognizing where Iran was but I also felt good because this proved that these kids were not exposed to politics and news the way we had been as kids. (Their teacher also explained to me that they are still learning about the US and hadn't got to other countries yet.)

After a few minutes, somebody tapped on my shoulder. It was this little girl who had come up to me to tell me she knows where Iran is!

I said: "You do?!" She nodded and said "do you wanna know how I know where it is?"
I said "sure, how?!"
- Because my family is from Israel!
- I said "oh, so you've heard of Iran because the two countries aren't getting along?" (I actually used the word "conflict" first and then realized I was talking to a kid and changed it to "not getting along" and she still was looking at me in a weird way, like she wasn't understanding what I was saying!)
- "No, because they are close!" matter of factly.

And then it hit me what being a "grown-up" has done to me. Well of course the two countries are close distance-wise! I felt both stupid and sad and even teared up a bit. We have been robbed of our childhood innocence. Our minds can twist a simple concept as proximity into "conflict"! Being close should be the only thing coming to mind when hearing "Iran and Israel" but it's amazing what the world of politics can do to you. And I felt bad because I was the one introducing the ugliness of the world to that kid! Poor thing! Poor me actually, when you come to think of it!

(By the way, if she had been, say from Jordan or Armenia, I would have thought "because they are close too" but no she had to be from Israel! Lucky me! :D )

Follow-up to Iran's financial situation

When I was coming to US about 5 months ago, I didn't have any funding. So, being able to exchange currency at a lower price was important for me. Iranian government offers students studying abroad a limited amount of currency exchange through its banks that are slightly cheaper than other exchangers. Of course, by the time I was leaving the country, the amount of dollars that were being dealt in Iran was minimal and the only way to be able to get any was through the banks.

However...they require you to leave the country, go register at the university, and then make an online folder where you upload basically almost every degree you got from the time you were born! And eventually they may or may not accept in the end! They make you jump through hoops for nothing! They want you to get tired and be eliminated from the race!

I made the folder as soon as I got here and got my certificate of attendance from the university and uploaded it and my mom (who was here at the time) took it with her to DC so that the Iranian embassy (since Iran doesn't have an embassy in the US, it is actually the Pakistani embassy!) to be signed and approved, and then she took it with her to Iran. By the way, I even put my home address in the US on my attendance sheet because the Iranian government wants to make sure that you are reaaallyyy at the place you are claiming to be!

Anyway, they replied to my request like 3 months after my initial request was submitted and they said that it was refused because the attendance form I had submitted was not signed by the Pakistani embassy. Ok, maybe it was my fault just a bit but then I checked the website and saw that where it asked to upload the attendance sheet, it didn't says anything for it to be the one signed by the embassy.

I told my mom about this and she sent the form to Tehran to the Ministry of Health, that makes the decision on this, and they said that you can't submit the form by person and it needs to be submitted online! I said ok then scan the form and email it to me so I can upload it online. After my parents emailed it, I went online and saw that their system was down...and it continued to be down for a week! You can imagine how frustrated I was. Why would you ask everything to be submitted online when you don't have the technology?! AAAAAAAGH!

After a loooong time when I could log on again, I submitted the form. They didn't reply and it said that the deadline was February 20. So I sent them an email and asked them to expedite replying to my request. And they did. It was refused again. And guess why?! This time for two reasons! First of all, they asked for the new semester's certificate of attendance, so that they would make sure that I am still in the US! I wanted to ask WHY?! Even if I was back, I had paid for the whole semester myself and I wanted to be able to use the small financial benefits that they were graciously giving us! And it wasn't like the whole thing was going to be free for me. I was still paying for everything! But maybe at a lower rate.

And you wouldn't belieeeeve how stupid the second reason was. Guess what?! They had just added another line to the files to be uploaded: the ranking of the university you are attending. Really?! Are you kidding me?! You can't do that yourself?! They had even provided the website that I was supposed to get the ranking from. Couldn't you have just typed in the name of my school there yourself?!!!!

GOOOOOOD!

It is the same thing for every official work you have to do in Iran...whatever that involves paperwork and bureaucracy. Take my graduation for example. After graduation I had to do some paperwork to get my degree. I went to the office and there was this disgusting guy who was "religious" and instead of looking at my face, so that he wouldn't be looking at an opposite sex's face, he was staring at my chest and was telling me to rearrange my scarf so that my hair wouldn't show! How the F did you see my hair if you weren't looking at my face you pervert! Oh...this wasn't what I wanted to tell you. He told me that they needed something from my department. I went back to my school and told them that I needed that document. Then went back to the pervert's office. Then he told me that I needed to bring another document from my department too! Why the hell didn't you tell me this in the first place?! I was going all this way back and forth for some papers and documents that I could have gotten all at the same time! But because they forgot or didn't care for our time or whatever the reason they had, they would send us back to get something and drag us back there.

And what made me write this post was this news I heard yesterday. Iran's $40m oil rig sunk in the Persian Gulf upon installation! (poker-face!) I am sitting here, looking for a little financial aid, so that instead of like 400 million Rials (equivalent to $10,000) I would pay 250 million Rials, and they are building a 40 million dollar rig and the work they have done is so bad that it is sunk even before they can use it!

Here's the video:

Iran's new oil rig drowning

Iraninan journalists

Iran is not the best place to be in right now.

Execution in public has become a regular thing to do…and watch as if it is some kind of a Shakespearean street show! Recently for the first time the arm of a thief was cut in front of the public eyes (imagine the kids!) in Shiraz, a city that has peace loving people and the place that gave birth to many artists and poets.

 The currency has been devaluated drastically during the past few months. Power to buy (is this a correct term to use?!) has declined considerably.

Since last presidential elections many activists have been taken to prison, making other people scared to do anything and many have fled the country, so there are less people to criticize the government and the ones who have been freed are now closeted and try not to do anything for the sake of their families' safety.

The rate of road fatalities seems to have increased (if possible!).

Many other horrible things have happened since I’ve come here last August. A classroom in a small town had caught fire, resulting in the death of two very young girls and injuring many others.

And two days ago, the news of arresting about 15 journalists came out.

I remember about 7 years ago, when the idea of becoming a journalist first got into my head, I was telling everyone that yeah, I’m going to become a journalist, and I’m going to do this, and I’m going to do that and all that stuff! And then, one of our family friends, with a grin on her face (not to mock me, just to be frank with me) bluntly told me “A journalist…in Iran?!” and that was when it hit me that how stupid my idea was. It is hard to be a journalist in Iran…you can’t write about all the things you want, you will get censored, you will be limited to the topics that you want to write about, there are a lot of topics that girls/women are limited to write or interview about.
Back then, I wanted to become a sports journalist! Because I was crazy about soccer. But it would’ve been impossible as women are not allowed to attend matches in stadiums (one of the reasons is that male spectators are “foul-mouthed” and it’s not a suitable atmosphere for ladies! Although, many argued that the ladies’ presence in stadiums would make men behave themselves! But the more important issue was that many clerics said women shouldn’t watch men with shorts THAT live! I mean seeing it on TV was OK but seeing it first hand in the stadium, even from yards away was poo-poo!), let alone go to trainings or whatever to get interviews and first hand news! And it’s getting worse every day! In recent years, there were talks of even stopping showing wrestling on TV because the wrestlers aren't dressed properly!!!
 Anyway…I just wanted to give you a gist of how awful things were. And back at that time, a plane carrying 40 journalists had suspiciously crashed in Iran so…that was what you could expect after becoming a journalist…dying in a fatal crash!

After the presidential elections back in 2009, everything got even worse. Quite the opposite of what president Khatami had done and given freedom of speech that had never been seen before in Iran, journalists in 2009 were thrown in jail and newspapers were shut down and… you can imagine the rest (or not!). Many journalists fled the country in fear of getting arrested and started working abroad in other networks and newspapers but they couldn’t speak as freely as they wanted to because their families were kind of “hostages” back in Iran. They weren’t actually arrested or anything, but as it says in the link I am going to share at the end of this post, they were harassed and taken for questioning.

Now in the latest raid, many were arrested while they were at their homes. I was reading a piece by Masih Alinejad, one of the journalists who has fled the country, on Facebook that said how one of the journalists was arrested in front of his mother. It’s really heart breaking. I imagined my own mother and how she would’ve felt if something like that happened to me or any of my siblings, and the hair on the back of my neck stood up!

Everything is getting worse. I don’t know where they are taking us but it’s not a good place!

One of my friends who had recently been to Iran and back, the things she was saying were unbelievable. I couldn’t believe that it's only been a few months since I’ve left and things have got this bad. She was telling how the foreign money dealers and currency exchanges were closed in her city and they were illegal unofficial dealers in the streets who were selling foreign money, especially American dollars, and she said that it was illegal to buy from those dealers and if caught, not only they would've taken away the money you had bought, but also would've fined you three times the amount you had bought!!! Of course, I know where this kind of behavior is coming from. Now with the sanctions, there is less money coming into the country, therefore they are trying to control the amount of dollars that people are taking away with them from Iran.
Not only the price of dollar has tripled, but the amount they allow for travelers to buy has fallen from $1000 to $300!!! I mean, even if you have the money to buy it, what can you do with $300 when you leave the country?! You would starve! And to make things worse, as far as I know, they only sell this amount to those who are going to visit the “holy” places, like Mecca or places like that. For those who are traveling for pleasure the amount is a big fat zero…zip…nada…nothing!

I usually digress a lot! The point of this entry was to say how sad it is to see all these journalists arrested without any legitimate reason. Guardian says they were accused of cooperating with foreign media like BBC but many speculate the main reason was to scare the journalists’ society and prepare them for the upcoming presidential elections, so that they wouldn’t even dare to write anything unpleasant (of course from the government’s perspective) and you can imagine how sad this makes me, an Iranian girl who dreams of becoming a journalist. There! In that sentence alone, I used 4 tabooed words! Girl, journalist, and to put Iran and dream in one sentence!

Iran needs a miracle. But it helps if more people are aware of what’s going on, in that now miserable place. My beloved.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2013/jan/27/iranian-journalists-arrested-raids-newspapers